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Fix Yourself a Glass of Shut Up Juice
Welcome to another Thursday UNFILTERED substack article, the only substack newsletter that loves blackjack. Not because it’s addicted to gambling, but because it’s addicted to sitting in a semicircle.
This past Saturday, I returned from the second annual Insurgence Experience Mastermind (IXP) for those who regularly preach or teach.
We’re opening up registration in May for the next IXP so if you regularly preach and/or teach, go here for details and fill out the application. (Invitations are only sent to those who apply.)
There are many reasons why I love my readers.
Your passion and love for Jesus Christ and your interest in the deeper Christian life are the main reasons.
But another is that you possess a funny bone.
(Those who suck lemons for a hobby unsubscribe from the email list rather quickly, and we don’t bemoan their exit.)
We’ve not posted a comical article in quite some time, and all the articles I’ve written over the last three years have been quite intense.
So we’re due for a “lighter side” piece.
Many light years ago I taught high school. And many of my students were skilled in the art of humor.
So we often split our sides in laughter as we were learning.
It was during that time that I was introduced to Shut Up Juice.
It came from Dwayne Johnson (“the Rock”) during his wrestling days.
Here’s one of his choice quotes:
“Well, the Rock says this – you should be concerned with fixing yourself a nice, tall glass of Shut Up Juice!”
I happily borrowed the phrase and employed it in my classroom.
If a student was talking during a lecture, I would say something like, “Hey Sparky, why don’t you grab a cold can of Shut Up Juice in the refrigerator and chug it down your throat.”
The room erupted in laughter. Sparky included. But the point was made and the talking subsided.
As I was going through some old files, I found a few hand-written notes I saved from some of my male students back in the day.
It was routine for them to hand me a folded half sheet with some clever piece of insane absurdity written on it.
Without fail, those notes caused me to laugh out loud. So I’m paying it forward.
By the way, the students would typically call me “Mr. V.” or just plain “V.”
Here’s one of those notes:
“V, do you have the fortitude to put Jake in a Shut Up Bag, beat it with a Shut Up Stick, roll it down Shut Up Hill into the middle of Shut Up Boulevard where it will then get run over by an 18-wheel Shut Up Truck?”
Incidentally, Jake happened to be one of the most loquacious people I’ve ever encountered. He was a true buttinsky, a voracious meddler and pushy pest. But he was a good fellow, not a crosspatch or a blowtop.
Note to the overly-sensitive (who probably got on my email list by accident). What my student wrote is metaphorical trash talk, it’s not literal. And it’s from a high school student for heaven’s sake. So calm down. :-)
Next week’s article will be serious like most of the others.
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